There comes a time in our lives where we have to ask the question, “Who am I?” On the exterior you are or appear to be one thing. On the interior you see and feel what no one else envisions. You start to take notice to things that weren’t there before, your body isn’t shaped like it used to when you were younger, you start changing your total look, or eating differently, exposing yourself to things you have never done before……. The list can go on and on and on.
I open this blog in this manner to make a point…..I have been natural for a loooong time (well pass 5-6 years). Yes, I have had a relaxer. I think I was 11 when I got my first relaxer. I was one of those children with massive heads of hair and it took two days to handle. Mother would set my sister and I up for the shampoo and conditioning and plaiting on the first day. The next day it was the blowing drying (our hair hardly ever dried in one day) and pressing or just styling. As we grew up we started obtaining our own “look” and personalities. Funny we both do hair for a living. My sister is a cosmetologist and I, a Master Barber. She wears relaxed hair and I wear dredlocs. We are totally opposite sides of the spectrum. Our thoughts on beauty are a matter of perception. And that’s okay.
Our perspective on beauty is truly on different pendulums. But our view overall is the same… projection of what we feel is beautiful to us (personally and professionally).
It’s unfortunate that we as women of color have to categorize ourselves, our curl pattern, our vision of beauty, or whose has better hair …. Systematically we not only break ourselves down, we break each other down.
It’s unfortunate that some naturals take elitist positions toward others because they do not look like, act like, and talk like….WHATEVER.
We need to be true to ourselves as to what we want and who we are as an individual. Everyone strives to belong to something, and that’s okay. But ask yourself, “Is this “group” making me a better person, educating me, improving my self esteem and self worth?” “What am I getting out of this thing called “Natural”?” “Is it making me healthier?” …. I’m just saying…..
Take a look in the mirror and do inventory.
The natural community has a lot of controversy on just defining “natural”. Doesn’t help to a lot of people it’s a fad. A passing trend that everyone is doing…. For others, it is truly a lifestyle change.
To wear your hair or “someone else’s” hair? Does that make me or you natural? I know people who are natural and REFUSE to wear there hair in its natural state! Whereas, there are others who REFUSE to wear there hair straight!
As a professional, I try to meet everyone where they are in life and thought. Everyone who becomes natural doesn’t have a natural mind state. Transitioning takes on segments starting with the hair. Appearances are so drastic and education (although vast) is lacking. I find personally an influx of happy nappy ignorance being displayed across the board. This thought does not just apply to the laymen, but the professional as well.
I don’t profess to know everything under the sun. But I strive to improve for myself and my clients. I use myself as an example so others may become strong, confident, and at peace with self…. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But that is just a matter of perspective. And that’s okay.
I call on all natural sistahs to lift yourself beyond the scope of materialism. I call on all natural sistahs to enlighten yourself and share with solidarity. I call on all WOMEN to stop systematically tearing each other apart. Everyone will find fault in self in some manner… And I most of all I challenge you to strive for self preservation, perseverance, and self-love. You can’t love someone else till you love your self.
Tanene Jackson ….Owner of Locs of Soul, a natural hair salon and barber shop in Mobile, Al. She is also the organizer to the Mobile Natural Hair and Wellness Expo. Tanene can be reached via Facebook.
